From Domestic Violence To Self-Defense: Kas McGuire’s Journey And New Book

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Hi, welcome to the OnCard Podcast.

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Two three episode two.

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Today's crystal hour will be back into the podcasting with our special guest requirement.

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She is a domestic survivor of firearms and martial arts instructors.

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Thursday and first of domestic awareness.

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Domestic South Awareness.

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And story about encounter five.

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So I hope you stay tuned.

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We'll be getting back into more episodes of not like we were before just yet, but uh we're gonna start releasing more episodes and looking forward to reconnecting with our listeners that we have.

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Stay tuned, and here we go.

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Hi, welcome to the Armed Guardian Podcast.

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I'm your host, Brian, here with our co-host Crystal, and our guest today is Cass McGuire.

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She is a domestic violence survivor, she's also a firearms instructor, martial arts instructor, advocate for domestic violence, and she's also an up-and-coming new author.

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She's got a book that's coming out uh into this month, and she's here to kind of talk about it, promote it, tell a little bit of her story.

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And with this being October being domestic violence awareness month, uh that's what the topic of today is uh domestic violence.

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And I wanted to bring her on.

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She's got an amazing story.

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I'm uh started following her whenever I got into firearms instruction, trying to you know look for other instructors to kind of follow a little bit, pick up some of the things, you know, that camaraderie that uh we try to look for.

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And I fell across her and saw some of her early stories and videos that she had posted, and it was just something that I said before I got the podcast going, it was something that I was very adamant about trying to pursue or to push awareness.

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And now that I've got the podcast going, I figured this would be a perfect time.

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And this has been a work in progress with Cass and I.

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It's taken a little over a year.

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Of course, I took last year off uh for personal reasons, but we've I've been trying to get her on, and today is the big day we've got her on.

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So, Cass, if you want to do an introduction to yourself, tell us a little about who Cass Maguire is and what what you what you do.

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Of course.

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Yeah, like you said, my name's Cass Maguire.

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I am a martial arts instructor mostly nowadays.

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I just had a a baby a year ago, so I haven't gotten to go with the range nearly as much as I wish to.

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And I have been working on my book, Water Cure, that's out on Halloween.

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Um, I I got into the social media aspect in 2020 after trying to kind of figure out how to relive again after surviving 13 years of domestic violence.

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It really started off fairly small, and I was just on Instagram, and I would write like little quotes.

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It was either some quote that I made up that felt really deep to me, or I would look at quotes from history, usually United States history, and I'd put a picture, and it was a way for me to get used to how my face looked.

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I had had a lot of reconstructive surgery on my face, and I didn't recognize myself, and I kind of just wanted to feel pretty again.

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And people started kind of following me, and I then was kind of pushed into hey, why don't you go and be armed?

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It's probably safer for you to be armed.

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And I started training so much so that I was going two, three times a week, and it became a new love for me.

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The smell of the fireworks of shooting and the feeling of all the stress kind of going away.

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I just I fell in love and I began feeling empowered again.

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Shooting gun truly empowered me to remember who I really was, and I wanted to share it with everybody.

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And so I actually turned my social media public and just started sharing my story, telling everybody how incredible it was to feel reinvigorated again and have a passion again, and kind of convinced trying to convince people that this was kind of the way.

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Like just try it, you will love it.

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And after that, I I went into private security and then went to teaching martial arts, and here I am after almost five years of people saying you should write a book about what happened, finally putting it down and getting it published and letting people hear my story, but in a different way.

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It is a psychological thriller.

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So I I'm really thrilled to be here, Brian, and thank you for letting me come on and introduce myself.

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You're welcome.

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Okay.

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This is generally what we've done in the past with our podcast is we will have questions that we kind of pre-tell people, our guests, you know, hey, this is what we're going to ask and everything.

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But I thought this was one of these situations that would be best situated by having an open conversation because it will allow us to be you know flow through more responsively, you know, go into more or less detail that we want to.

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And I just thought it would be the the best platform for us to do for this segment.

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So did your intros again, this is for about domestic violence awareness mostly and to promote your book, but uh tell us a little bit about your your story.

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Tell us a little bit about your domestic violence situation, if you don't mind.

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No, how how it uh happened, you know, the stages that you've you went through and stuff like that.

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Yeah, of course.

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I I was very young.

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I actually met who I call my captor in middle school.

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And sixth grade, me was, you know, ooh, handsome football player.

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That's that was the mindset.

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And I was a very nerdy cheerleader who didn't really get along with the girls.

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So my mom put me in martial arts.

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And by high school, I had earned my black belt and I started really feeling confident in my nerdy self and kind of chased after this guy and was head over heels.

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It really did start off small, and he started pointing towards my friends and saying, Well, you know they don't really like you, right?

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You know they talk bad about you, they make fun of you, they think your hair is weird, they they don't like how you dress.

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And he really started pulling me away from the people that I was close to, and I didn't realize it because I was like, Oh, he wouldn't hurt me.

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This this is this is love, but he's just trying to protect me.

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And it kind of moved more into hey, you shouldn't wear that.

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You you look a little bit trashy when you wear things like that.

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You should wear this, and again, I'm like, he's just being nice, he wants to, you know, make sure I don't look bad.

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That's okay.

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We moved in together right after high school, and I was gonna go to college, and he was like, Hey, you know, you're really good at martial arts, you should just there's no reason for you to go to college really convinced me that I should drop out of college, and I I did.

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And the more the more happened, I kind of I realized I started not being able to hold money.

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He started having him hold my driver's license, like he wanted to hold my driver's license because I would lose it, and I was very forgetful.

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And I just I really didn't think much of it.

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Um and the martial arts school that I was teaching at, they the owners had a divorce and there was a big falling out, so I was home a lot for a little bit.

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And one day he came home while I had been home alone and immediately started accusing me of being unfaithful to him.

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And I was caught so off guard, and it was just like a switch in his eyes.

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His eyes grew dark, and he grabbed a knife out of the kitchen, and from there on he he forced me to remove my clothes and searched my body and smelled me, and he still didn't believe me.

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And that was that was the first time it got really bad.

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And he held me down and waterboarded me.

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That that was the first physical incident, and it just continued from there for years, it really did.

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They really gaslighted you into believing a lot of the stuff, and that's from what I've seen in my career interactions, that's a big thing that happens with people in domestic violence situations.

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They get gaslighted, they get taught, get the thought in their head that you know they're not worth the worth it, you know, nobody else would be interested in them and stuff like that.

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And that's some of the things that I think really step up and people need to be aware of, you know.

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And Crystal and I were in the pre pre-recording, no, a lot of people, why don't you just leave?

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No, it's not that bad, or and stuff like that.

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And they really can't understand it if they they haven't been in it or know somebody that has been in a situation like that.

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They just can't wrap their head around, you know, why you just can't leave, why you just can't call for help and stuff like that.

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Yeah, a lot of times they'll either downplay it or they're they'll blame the victim.

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I've heard people say, well, if you didn't like it, you wouldn't be there.

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You wouldn't let it happen, you would just leave.

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But you don't know the person's circumstances.

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It could be financial, it could be fair.

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I mean, in my situation, I had to worry about my children being killed.

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So, and he would have done it.

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It wasn't one of those things where, oh, he's just talking, this is a very dangerous individual.

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So it's not always easy to leave.

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And for many situations where a woman, and it does happen in men too, don't get me wrong, there's men do have domestic violence as well, maybe not as much as women, but there are those cases where men are also victims.

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And that's a situation where when they do leave, there's a very high possibility that they are killed.

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So it becomes a lot more dangerous when they do leave.

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So we always have to take a lot of different things in consideration and why somebody's in and you know doesn't want to leave or can't leave.

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Right.

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Another thing that we were talking about earlier was like in my situation, I was strangled.

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And when if it wasn't for my daughter walking in on it and seeing me there, he would have finished me off.

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I would not be here right now.

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And when the police arrived on scene, they told me that they were gonna put my children in in the DCF care, and then I was gonna go to jail.

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And so was the attacker.

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So, what incentive is that to a victim to call for help if you think your children are gonna be taken away from you and you're gonna go to jail when you're a victim.

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So there's a lot of things, our our system is seriously flawed, I can tell you that when it comes to situations like this.

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And like you were saying about your your case, I don't know about how it is today, but this was a very long time ago, of what kind of training education they're giving to the officers on scene.

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Right.

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Yeah, it's not like uh I know in Florida, uh the jurisdiction that I was in, uh towards the end of my career with the agency I was at, they started a the judicial circuit started a victim's awareness advocate that would respond out for certain calls to try to, if there was an arrest, to try to intervene, or if if there is a a victim that was injured, or you know, something that the officer that again goes back to the officer's discretion, that the officer felt that you know somebody else needed to intervene that maybe had a little bit more training, a little bit more ways to handle a situation.

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And no, that's something that I think I've seen it grow in the good factor.

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Uh a lot more officers are getting better training.

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Is it the best or is it sufficient?

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Not by any means, but at least it's a start uh advocating for laws for domestic violence.

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That's another thing.

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The laws have changed.

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I know before people you couldn't figure out who it was, or you know, they were contradicting each other.

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Well, arrest both of them and and let the courts uh now.

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I know in Florida, what before I left, they were had passed a law where if you could identify a primary aggressor, you made that arrest.

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You you were mandated to make that arrest.

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Right.

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Yeah, eventually the courts would have to deal with it, but no, at least you were able to get that situation separated and you know, allow uh allow some space for them to try to work things out or get help or you know whatever was needed.

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You know, you you know, another issue we have too with law enforcement.

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I'm not trying to knock anyone because it's a very tough job.

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But sometimes they there's so many cases of domestic violence that it's like when they get another call, they're oh, another one of those cases, another domestic violence.

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And they don't always take it serious.

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Right.

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Because there's so many of them.

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Then they get on scene, you know how it is, Brian.

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You get on scene.

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Nobody likes to go out to domestic violence situations because it turns ugly.

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So we're there to help you, but then they turn around and go after us.

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You're the bad guys, you know, we don't want you here.

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Yeah, they were just trying to get it helped because they were in danger at that time, so it flipped.

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So a lot of times officers are like, oh, just another one of these domestic violence cases, here we go again, you know, and they don't want to deal with that.

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Especially if it's the a a known couple that has over and over problems, you know, they say, Oh, here we go again, they're arguing again and uh yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, I will say I 100% agree.

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My my husband is in law enforcement, and um, he said that it definitely is fatiguing.

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And you know, whenever I I made my escape in 2019, I actually I had to really plan it out, um, which is an important step for any survivor, any survivor listening, making sure that you have a plan because leaving is the most dangerous part.

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I tried to leave countless times and got injured, and it was a test and failed process on how to leave.

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I left in the middle of the night um and drove me and my son to a fire station.

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And when an officer showed up at the fire station, his immediate tonality was oh what now?

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And I and the firefighters had to step between the officer and me and say, Hey, this this woman needs help.

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Or they started really working um and finding me a place to go.

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With that being said, as court kind of went through, the officer never made a police report.

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Um essentially, because I had left with no wounds um or visible injuries, no police report was made.

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I was able to obtain a victim protection order, an e an EVP.

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Um and it took my my my sense of justice was it taking him not showing for a um a a child, uh a child hearing for custody of the child, and him being in jail, and him calling and begging to be let out of jail, and me saying, if you sign your rights over, I'll drop, I'll we can we can let things go.

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And he said, Will I ever have to pay any money to you?

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And I said, No.

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And as if my child was nothing more than a transaction, he signed his rights away.

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A bargaining chip.

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Yeah.

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But the system definitely failed in many ways.

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And even my attorney was like, You unless the state were to somehow press charges, we would have to take this to sit to civil court case.

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There, even though you have because I would I saved, I prepared, I saved photos.

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I wrote myself emails and sent them to my son's tablet and in like parental lock mode.

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I I had everything photos, text messages for three years of him threatening to kill me and saying, Oh, I just barely stabbed you, like things like that.

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Like I had every bit of evidence because while I was going through it, it was during the Brett Kavanaugh stuff that was going on.

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And I remember like listening to all these like political news stories, and I'm like, wow, I don't know what to believe.

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So I thought, if I'm gonna leave, I have to have proof because I didn't know whether to believe some people who were coming out against these politicians.

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So who would believe me, you know?

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And to then have all this evidence and go to my attorney and then say, I'm sorry, the state failed you.

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I can't, there's nothing we can do unless you want to press civil charges.

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That that was rough for me.

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You know, it was a good thing you were going, not there was never a good thing that you were going through, but you had stuff that you can build evidence evidence.

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Well, I remember when I was going through it, I had a little voice recorder and I would try and record stuff that he would say.

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And I was told that that was gonna be used against me because I was taking away his rights by not informing him that I was recording him.

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No, I'm violating his rights.

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I'm like, I'm violating his rights because I'm recording him saying he's gonna kill me, kill my children.

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And they're like, you can't record that somebody else without their knowledge.

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So you have to let them know, hey, by the way, is it okay if I record you threatening my life and my children's life?

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He's gonna definitely say no.

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But I I will say the one time I was caught recording was whenever I wound up with my facial reconstruction because he saw me recording, grabbed the phone, and I grabbed my son's car seat and I started running to a hospital that was like across the street.

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He grabbed me in front of the hospital.

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There's people like everywhere.

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They don't care.

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Yeah, he punches me in the face, my jaw slits, and he said, and like I was bleeding.

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And he was like, Tell them the Oklahoma wind made the car door hit it.

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Go get yourself fixed up.

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And I I mean, I did.

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I was like, okay, I guess that's what I'm gonna do.

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So it's it's easy.

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So from your domestic violence uh situation, how did it transform you or how has it transformed you into your firearms training and martial arts training?

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Has it kind of fueled you for to empower women or people in general?

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How's how's it helped you or or what was your goal and your training methods that you have using this?

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Well, I think a part of me, because I was teaching martial arts when I first was in the relationship, like and I went through it while teaching martial arts.

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There was a part of me that felt so bad about myself when I was teaching people how to fight at my job and then coming home and not defending myself.

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And then after leaving the situation and getting into firearms and going back into martial arts training, there was kind of this drive in me to teach people that it doesn't matter if you know how to shoot or if you know how to punch and kick, if you don't love yourself enough to use that ability, then you you can know all this all this stuff and never truly protect yourself.

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And I truly believe that the reason it was so hard on me was I I didn't love myself and I I put my faith of loving myself into somebody else rather than love myself purely.

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And I wasn't mentally strong enough to use the knowledge I had to protect myself.

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And so now as I teach, I I try to not just teach you how to do it, but how your brain mentally needs to be that state of mind that you need to be in to actually pull the trigger, to actually harm somebody.

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Because some people, I was one of those people who never really wanted to actually ever harm anybody.

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Like the thought of me breaking somebody's nose, I would feel bad, you know?

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And the reality is if we have to defend ourselves, we have to mentally be prepared not only for the damage we can cause on other people, but the ramifications of your mental health after that damage is caused.

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Not just the law part of it, which I know a lot of people preach the hey, remember, if you shoot, you have to still go through all these legal things, but the mind of it is also very hard to handle.

00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:34.319
And I want to help others, if they ever are in a situation to defend themselves, that they mentally are prepared and don't go through as much trauma and PTSD as I did recovering from it.

00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:40.799
Yeah, that's one of the things that the mental the mental aspect.

00:23:40.880 --> 00:24:06.400
Now I've done, and I'm sure we all have done firearms training, and people say, Well, I want to get a firearm to protect myself, but I don't know if I can pull the trigger and no shoot somebody, whether it's just the fear of injuring somebody, religious beliefs, or whatever, but they want to get this training and just overcoming that aspect, that thought that they have to prepare them, you know, if they had to, that they could protect themselves.

00:24:06.559 --> 00:24:35.359
And then the after effects, like you said, the dealing with the emotional PS PTSD, the the trauma, the things that are gonna, the nightmares and stuff that'll come back uh potentially, and how to deal with those and seeking help to deal with those because a lot of people, some are strong-willed, strong-minded, that it may not affect them to the extent that it may affect somebody else in that same situation.

00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:55.680
So uh that's what was you know, one of the things I wish firearms instructors would really delve into whenever they teach is the yeah, teach them the basics, teach them you know the laws for self-defense, but also go into the mental or the aftermath what happens.

00:24:55.839 --> 00:25:06.000
Uh, because a lot of people think, you know, too, hey, if I shoot somebody and they're attacking me and I shoot them and and they die or they get hurt or something, I'm good to go.

00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:15.200
A lot of them don't realize that they're probably gonna get detained or handcuffs slapped on them, at least taken down to the station to be interviewed or something, especially if there's a death.

00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:38.559
No, uh, and a lot of people they they start what if that happens to them, they start freezing, they start second-guessing, and if they're not aware of how to handle or you know, expect these things, then it can kind of throw them into that severe PTSD aspect of oh crap, this is not what I thought, and have a problem dealing with it in the end.

00:25:42.640 --> 00:25:43.839
Go ahead, Kess.

00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:51.599
I would say um one of the examples I give to my students, um, and this is a true story.

00:25:51.920 --> 00:26:07.200
I was sitting in my car in a parking lot, and I had the windows rolled down slightly, and I was just kind of like resting my eyes, and I felt a hand reach into my car and it grabbed my shoulder.

00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:16.640
Now, my martial arts training kicked in, and this is post-abuse, and I grabbed the arm, pulled it, the person's head hit the door.

00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:20.720
I opened my car and I held them to the door.

00:26:21.599 --> 00:26:33.519
And as I'm holding them and I'm seeing blood on my like window from their head hitting it, I realize this is a homeless man that was probably just trying to ask me for money.

00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:37.359
And I I called the I called the police.

00:26:37.440 --> 00:26:39.839
I'm like, hey, I just hurt this guy.

00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:49.599
I he reached in my car, and they're like, Well, he did reach in your car, which is against the law, so you had the right to defend yourself.

00:26:50.079 --> 00:26:55.359
But maybe next time, be aware.

00:26:55.839 --> 00:26:59.920
And I was like, Yes, I I probably shouldn't have done that.

00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:02.480
But like to this day, it bothers.

00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:04.000
I feel so bad for that man.

00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:05.440
Like, I broke his nose.

00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:17.920
He did break the law, and he was probably just asking for money, but the mental aspect is still there, like something that small of injury, and especially teaching martial arts.

00:27:18.160 --> 00:27:26.640
I I try to teach even my younger kids hey, if you hurt somebody at school protecting yourself, you're gonna you might feel bad about it.

00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:29.039
But it's good that you protected yourself.

00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:44.960
Yeah, and it's good, no, people being us aware of their situation, uh, situational awareness and everything, because in that situation, just think if you know, you still had your window down and somebody saw you with no sleeping and stuff.

00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:46.319
Hey, is she passed out?

00:27:46.400 --> 00:27:48.400
Is she you know unconscious or something?

00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:58.720
Let me wake her up and then that happening, just knowing a little bit, you know, maybe cracking it where somebody can't get their arm in, maybe shake or knock on the car or something.

00:27:58.880 --> 00:28:30.079
But no, it's just being for the concealed carrier, it's being aware of you know situations, uh, yeah, we're trained, like you, you're you you reacted how you trained to you know protect yourself, you know, someone grabbing you, and you know, that's all fine and dandy, but we also have to be aware of you know what did we get too laid back or too lax in our situational awareness by leaving the window open for them to put their hand in and stuff.

00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:40.000
So a lot a lot of sit, you know, a lot of topics can come from this discussion and things that we just sometimes are aren't aware of.

00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:48.799
It's like with uh people going out carrying a firearm, and you know, a lot of people you ask, well, where are you gonna sit in a a restaurant?

00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:52.240
You have a choice of a table or a booth, you know, where are you gonna go?

00:28:52.319 --> 00:29:02.079
And you know, a lot of people they like the booths, but you know, the table is where you want to go, you want to scan the exits and stuff, and a lot of people just don't think about that.

00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.799
So it's just being aware.

00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:07.359
Yeah, we have to be very proactive.

00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:18.640
And I think a lot of these things, like as far as myself being a firearm instructor as well, and do public safety education, I feel as though since most of the time we get a call when something has already happened.

00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:31.359
So when it comes to domestic violence, I think it's really important that we start at a really early age educating our children on what dem what domestic violence is, what are the signs, red flags, because they're more equipped to deal with it.

00:29:31.440 --> 00:29:34.079
So I personally do programs starting in middle school.

00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:35.599
Cass, as you mentioned, right?

00:29:35.680 --> 00:29:38.400
You were in middle school when you met your abuser.

00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:48.559
So if we're able to go in at an early age and start educating these children so they know what the red flags are so they can avoid it, we're already at an advantage.

00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:49.200
Right.

00:29:49.759 --> 00:29:53.920
Unfortunately, it's too late for many of us that have already gone through it.

00:29:54.480 --> 00:29:57.839
But we really need to focus a lot on that education beforehand.

00:29:58.640 --> 00:29:58.880
Right.

00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:02.240
Uh see.

00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:18.720
From your sit the scenario that or the situation that you were in, I know you've become a lot more uh active being an advocate for women's uh personal safety, domestic violence.

00:30:19.039 --> 00:30:22.799
Has how has this impacted, especially with your upcoming book?

00:30:22.960 --> 00:30:31.759
I know this was a big step for you, probably talk you know, talking about some of the stuff or putting some of the stuff in written form for everybody to see.

00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:35.680
How what kind of advocacy are you currently doing?

00:30:35.759 --> 00:30:48.319
Uh you doing have you talked with law officers, for uh attorneys, uh you know, what what kind of advocacy have you taken or have you been led down that path yet?

00:30:48.799 --> 00:30:56.720
So um for the most part, I I've been pretty local in some like personal aspects.

00:30:57.039 --> 00:31:09.279
I try to, of course, continue social media and promote advocacy nationwide, but here in Oklahoma, we are ranked number one nationally for domestic violence as of this year.

00:31:09.599 --> 00:31:14.799
And the the domestic violence rate against women has increased drastically.

00:31:14.960 --> 00:31:18.319
We were three whenever I was dealing with the situation.

00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:38.880
What I do is I regularly have free women's self-defense workshops featured on most news channels here in Oklahoma, where women can come in and it is a fun, interactive class with sprinkles of information.

00:31:39.519 --> 00:32:12.960
And it it is, I make it very humorous and very fun to where you come away not only feeling empowered because you're able to do some really cool things, but you learn kind of a reality of the situation of why it's so important to be able to defend yourself and how to talk to your kids about about being safe and protecting themselves from ever winding up in a situation that they would need to defend themselves.

00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:22.319
On top of that, I do private lessons for women who have recently left the domestic violence shelter.

00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:30.799
And um I help coach women who reach out to me locally on creating plans.

00:32:31.119 --> 00:32:38.880
Um about three months ago, I had a friend from school who knew me and my captor.

00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:47.839
And she said, Hey, leave, this is what's going on, and you help.

00:32:47.920 --> 00:32:48.880
And I was like, sure.

00:32:49.039 --> 00:32:53.359
So I just buckled down and gave her a plan.

00:32:53.440 --> 00:33:02.400
We walked through a plan and she she made it out with her kids, and he's currently in jail for what he did.

00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:08.559
Well, that's great.

00:33:08.640 --> 00:33:17.759
Uh, and I know, Crystal, I know you you've been through some of it, and I know a little bit about your advocacy, you know, with some of your workshops, your classes that you do.

00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:31.680
Have you have you had any or attempted to have any impact with the judicial or even with the the awareness of in in your community or in in the state of Florida?

00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:40.559
Not in in the law enforcement sector per se, but I do more community-wide events or private lessons or discussions.

00:33:40.720 --> 00:33:47.279
But really, like law enforcement, I'm in the process of developing some sort of a program that we could implement and try and get it out there.

00:33:47.759 --> 00:33:52.960
In regards to, like we were just saying, about them understanding from a victim's point of view.

00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:59.119
Because it's a very sensitive, you know, very it's just a really touchy thing for the victim.

00:33:59.279 --> 00:33:59.599
Yeah.

00:33:59.839 --> 00:34:04.640
It's very hard to deal with and break through to these people and try and get them the help and the resources that they need.

00:34:04.799 --> 00:34:11.199
So I hope to develop something sooner than later that can be implemented and get them on board.

00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:17.119
Otherwise, it's just, you know, community events and public or personal stuff.

00:34:17.519 --> 00:34:17.840
Okay.

00:34:19.119 --> 00:34:58.960
Yeah, uh, no, that's kind of where having been on the law enforcement side and stuff and knowing a few people personally that have been involved in domestic violence situations, uh, the advocacy for it is, you know, I've I've done I've done classes, I've always tried to pass on, you know, whenever I'm talking to law enforcement officers or you know, to people at my church and stuff, try to bring awareness to you know, being sensitive, uh receptive to people, because you know, sometimes even just the smallest nugget of that they may display that they need help, uh, you you could make an impact on them.

00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:18.159
And I I really think that there I'm hoping that there's a lot more that comes about uh domestic violence awareness is very you know needed very much because so many people kind of downplay it, you know, that well, if you weren't doing something, no, it was your your fault that it happened because you weren't Oh yeah, you deserved it.

00:35:18.239 --> 00:35:19.199
Yeah, that's what they'll say.

00:35:19.360 --> 00:35:19.840
What did you do?

00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:20.960
Well, what what's the truth?

00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:22.480
There's two sides to this story.

00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:23.840
What really happened?

00:35:24.079 --> 00:35:33.039
I remember with my situation, we could be driving in a vehicle and I'll just breathe heavily, like something, you know, you take a deep breath, and I get in so much trouble for that.

00:35:33.119 --> 00:35:34.559
You know, what the F is your problem?

00:35:34.639 --> 00:35:36.079
Why are you breathing like that?

00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:41.599
And like I was just breathing, or if you get a hiccup or something, it was like nothing, I'm not mad.

00:35:41.760 --> 00:35:44.320
Or you have an attitude, so yeah.

00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:47.440
It's just they get upset about everything.

00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:49.920
And go ahead, Cass.

00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:53.280
Um, I I I 100% understand.

00:35:53.440 --> 00:36:11.840
I and and it's those little things I I think for me that just like I think my mentality eventually got to okay, you can hit me all you want, but it's those little things really irritating me right now that you're getting mad that I I fixed my shirt.

00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:14.000
Like you're really mad about that.

00:36:14.880 --> 00:36:17.119
It's not gonna cause you to go off.

00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:24.480
I I would rather it be I dropped a plate and then she punched than I fixed my shirt.

00:36:24.639 --> 00:36:26.400
Like are you?

00:36:26.559 --> 00:36:28.480
Yeah, it is so it is those little things.

00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:34.639
I remember a time when I had when cell phones first came out and he got me a cell phone and I was like, wow, I'm gonna have a cell phone.

00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:35.920
I was so excited.

00:36:36.159 --> 00:36:38.880
But really, what it was was his way of tracking me.

00:36:39.199 --> 00:36:49.599
So prior to these cell phones coming out, I went into the supermarket one day and he called the supermarket and my name was called on the loudspeaker.

00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:52.400
And I'm like, are somebody calling is somebody calling my name?

00:36:52.639 --> 00:36:53.760
Like seriously?

00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:58.320
So I go up and I'm like, I think somebody's paging me, and I said, Yeah, you have a phone call.

00:36:58.639 --> 00:37:00.320
And I get on the phone, it was him.

00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:03.119
He just wanted to make sure I was actually at the supermarket.

00:37:03.599 --> 00:37:08.400
But then when we got the cell phones, I kid you not, I couldn't have been back out of the house yet.

00:37:08.639 --> 00:37:11.119
He would make sure, you know, where I was every moment of the day.

00:37:11.280 --> 00:37:12.480
He would call me and like, where are you?

00:37:12.559 --> 00:37:13.920
I'm like, I'm just now leaving.

00:37:14.079 --> 00:37:15.360
Two minutes later, call me back.

00:37:15.440 --> 00:37:17.360
And this is when he was at his job.

00:37:18.079 --> 00:37:26.320
So he would call, like, and and if the and you know what the bad part was, there was a time that his mother, his father was abusive too.

00:37:26.400 --> 00:37:30.159
So, you know, that kind of gets passed down to their children as well.

00:37:30.400 --> 00:37:35.679
So I'm outside, I select outside with my kids to be outside in the fresh air, which I was not allowed to do.

00:37:35.760 --> 00:37:43.360
So I go outside and apparently he had been calling the house and the phone, uh, the cordless phone died or something, but he couldn't reach me.

00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:50.400
So he called his mother, and his mother showed up at my house and she reported back to him that she caught me, she caught me outside with the kids.

00:37:50.559 --> 00:37:52.559
And I got in so much trouble for that.

00:37:52.639 --> 00:37:59.599
Like he would try and make it like, oh, you know, it's not safe for you outside, somebody's gonna kidnap you or the kids, or they're gonna hurt you.

00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:03.039
And he always flipped it like he was concerned for our safety.

00:38:03.280 --> 00:38:05.840
So it's like, okay, so back inside you go.

00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:13.840
It's like and it's like, no, with technology today, you know, uh the there's good and bad.

00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:33.599
Uh take I'm not downplaying life 360 or anything like that for you, you know, tracking your kids or your family, you know, just for no safety purposes and not the stalkerish side of it, but some people, but I can see this where that can be used for nefarious purposes of somebody.

00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:34.320
Oh, yeah.

00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:35.039
Okay, there.

00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:36.400
Why is she over there?

00:38:36.639 --> 00:38:37.760
Why are they over there?

00:38:38.000 --> 00:38:41.599
And if you if you don't realize, go ahead.

00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:44.960
What's really bad is whenever it messes up.

00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:48.960
Yeah, because it happened to me multiple times is he's tracking me.

00:38:49.199 --> 00:38:52.800
And well, it says that you are a block away.

00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:54.800
I'm not, I am right here.

00:38:54.880 --> 00:38:55.599
I'm standing.

00:38:56.000 --> 00:38:56.480
Yeah, yeah.

00:38:56.559 --> 00:39:16.400
I have that, I have it on my car, so I have the tracker on my car, and it will give an address that's like close by, but not, and I have a satellite so I can actually see, but sometimes it's like the address is not where I'm at, even though it's like within even in, I don't know, 100 feet or 500 feet, but it will look like you're lying.

00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:25.519
So if a person is tracking you sees that and you say, Well, I'm over here at the supermarket, but it's showing you like, you know, right down the street, that can be a problem for you.

00:39:26.239 --> 00:39:31.119
I was, you know, you know, there we didn't have that technology when maybe they did it.

00:39:31.280 --> 00:39:36.639
I just didn't have it, but as far as I know, we didn't have that ability to do that kind of stuff back then, which would have been a good thing.

00:39:36.719 --> 00:39:40.239
Yeah, because he tracked me anyway, he was following me everywhere I went.

00:39:40.559 --> 00:39:42.480
So it was fairly hard.

00:39:42.559 --> 00:39:45.440
But yeah, technology can be good and got good and bad, that's for sure.

00:39:45.679 --> 00:40:12.159
Yeah, and it's no, if you for like a person in domestic violence, you know, if they are allowed to leave to go somewhere, and now with technology these days, you've got these little air tags and stuff where people can just put on and you not be aware of it, and they can track you that way to you know, if it's in a domestic violence situation in a robbery, or you know, people finding uh uh steal from you or attack you.

00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:16.800
No just things that people need should be aware of.

00:40:16.960 --> 00:40:19.119
I think that no, this could happen.

00:40:19.199 --> 00:41:13.360
I know a lot of phones these days have you know where you especially if they're Bluetooth, have Bluetooth technology where they're tracking is no, they you know, you can identify a tracker uh victimity and stuff, and no, that's a good thing to be aware of, but uh it's something that uh another little thing that you know being aware of and you know if you're in a situation or if you see somebody putting something up under a car or something like that, you know, there might be something going on there, but yeah, just being being aware of you know situations, uh of you know attitudes, uh I'm one that I'll I'll talk to anybody and I pretty much don't have a filter most of the time, so I'll speak what's on my mind, and if you know if I go up to somebody, you okay?

00:41:13.599 --> 00:41:16.800
And I get you know a lot of people, yeah, I'm fine, or yeah, I'm good.

00:41:16.960 --> 00:41:17.440
Right.

00:41:17.679 --> 00:41:24.000
And just body language, recognizing body language because you can't hide your body language.

00:41:24.159 --> 00:41:27.519
Your body language is something that's comes naturally.

00:41:27.679 --> 00:41:43.360
Yeah, you can mask it a little bit, but it's still going to deep down you see the eyes uh darting or the the head nodding down or or no something, just being aware of the different types of body language of somebody that's in distress.

00:41:43.679 --> 00:41:44.800
You're right about that, Brian.

00:41:44.880 --> 00:41:45.519
You know what, too?

00:41:45.599 --> 00:42:01.280
So you know I'll do I have a the other company is Safe Hire 360, that we do workplace violent prevention, and part of our program is domestic violence spillover, and we talk about everything you just said about how to identify that person because a lot of times the workplace is a safe haven for that victim.

00:42:01.440 --> 00:42:09.280
They have nowhere else to go, but it's also a situation where that their attacker, their abuser knows where they work and they can be ambushed.

00:42:09.440 --> 00:42:20.400
So we help, you know, educate the employers on domestic violence, what are the signs, what to do if you suspect you know, somebody that's working for you is going through that and the ways that you can help them.

00:42:20.960 --> 00:42:24.320
Because there are people that really have nobody else they can go to.

00:42:24.480 --> 00:42:24.719
Right.

00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:33.920
But if they have a job, that might just be their outlet or some kind of way to let someone know what's going on at home and possibly get help.

00:42:34.559 --> 00:42:46.400
So you're you're 100% right about the job thing, especially for like my situation, because it took me, it took me a few years to convince my captor that I should go back to work.

00:42:46.719 --> 00:42:50.079
And I finally did by grooming dogs for Petco.

00:42:50.639 --> 00:42:58.239
The reason he agreed to it is the Petco that I applied to had a glass wall.

00:42:58.559 --> 00:43:10.239
So from the outside, you could see into the groom, and he parked right outside of it and watched me all day while I worked.

00:43:10.559 --> 00:43:14.559
And people thought it was weird, and I had to make like excuses.

00:43:14.960 --> 00:43:34.320
Excuses, right, and but the day I I chose to leave, I told my coworkers and my boss, I said, Hey, tonight I am leaving my captor, and here's what's happened.

00:43:34.639 --> 00:43:37.679
Do not call the police or I will be dead.

00:43:38.079 --> 00:43:39.199
Let me escape.

00:43:39.360 --> 00:43:42.800
If I don't call you in the morning, I'm dead.

00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:50.559
And they as soon as I arrived at the domestic violence shelter, they were the first people I called to say, Hey, I'm alive.

00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:53.039
You can call the police, tell them what happened.

00:43:53.360 --> 00:43:53.679
Right.

00:43:53.920 --> 00:43:57.760
When this happened to you, so you escaped from your place of employment.

00:43:57.920 --> 00:44:00.480
Did you go out like a back door or something to get away?

00:44:00.800 --> 00:44:07.360
No, I actually I told them the day of because I'd planned I had planned for Okay, okay, I see what you're saying.

00:44:07.599 --> 00:44:10.000
Yeah, I I actually escaped from my home.

00:44:10.480 --> 00:44:10.800
Okay.

00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:20.960
And I the the game plan was I put on Harry Potter because it's long and it gets loud and fell asleep.

00:44:21.280 --> 00:44:29.280
And I just and I got everything I needed, skedaddled and ran straight to the fire department.

00:44:29.519 --> 00:44:36.079
Yeah, that was a really smart move because I know we have this saying what starts at home is finished at work when it comes to domestic violence.

00:44:36.159 --> 00:44:46.159
And I've worked with families that have lost their loved ones who are ambushed in parking lots, or even worse though, when they come into the job and there's other people that get injured, their collateral damage basically.

00:44:46.320 --> 00:44:52.880
So next thing you know, I go out to take you out and there's some co-workers and they get injured as well or killed.

00:44:53.119 --> 00:45:00.719
So it's a serious problem, but I think that's something where the workplace can do a lot for victims of these types of crimes.

00:45:01.199 --> 00:45:03.280
But a lot of not a lot of people are aware of it.

00:45:03.360 --> 00:45:05.840
They don't know what they can do or they don't know the signs.

00:45:06.239 --> 00:45:11.679
But in your situation, I can't I see why he allowed you to work because he had it, you know, it's like a fishbowl.

00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:14.000
They can watch everything that you were doing.

00:45:14.320 --> 00:45:15.920
Yeah, it it was a fishbowl.

00:45:16.079 --> 00:45:22.960
And I recall one time, and I still I actually still have the report because police showed up at my job because of him.

00:45:23.039 --> 00:45:26.559
Um, he had pulled into a parking handicapped parking spot.

00:45:26.880 --> 00:45:33.199
And someone who was handicapped pulled up, started an argument with him, and he punched this guy.

00:45:33.440 --> 00:45:37.679
And so the my job had to make a report on it, but the police recalled.

00:45:37.840 --> 00:45:44.400
The officer that showed up went to high school with us and was like, no big nothing.

00:45:44.559 --> 00:45:45.039
Yeah.

00:45:45.599 --> 00:45:53.039
And my job, that was that was kind of the the original them being like, hey, it's kind of weird that he sits there, right?

00:45:53.360 --> 00:45:57.280
You know, that's something where and a job can implement that into their policies.

00:45:57.360 --> 00:46:09.440
If there is a situation where a a spouse, a boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever is out in the parking lot, say we have a policy here that we don't allow significant others to remain on property for an extended amount of time.

00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:12.559
And that way, if something did come up, you can say, Listen, it's a policy.

00:46:12.639 --> 00:46:21.519
Now they they may get mad, absolutely, but at least you have that, and that's just the way it is, so that they know that they can't just sit there and lingering around all day long.

00:46:21.840 --> 00:46:22.079
Right.

00:46:22.320 --> 00:46:24.559
Well, they listen to it, you never know.

00:46:24.800 --> 00:46:26.960
Well, but at least there's something in place.

00:46:27.199 --> 00:46:45.679
Yeah, and you also have to be aware on the employer side, you know, you may have two employees that work office jobs that you know they may have a situation going on outside of work, but they play play well, I guess is the best way to say it, but in front of everybody at work.

00:46:45.920 --> 00:46:49.360
But you know, that's where the employers need to step up.

00:46:49.440 --> 00:46:56.559
And now, if you do have a husband wife working to really be aware of some of the things that you know could happen.

00:46:56.800 --> 00:46:58.159
Uh oh yeah.

00:46:58.559 --> 00:47:03.280
It's little triggers and and things that no, hey, this doesn't seem right.

00:47:03.519 --> 00:47:08.800
No, we need to do, hey, we're gonna have an evaluation of Mary.

00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:10.159
Uh Mary, come into the office.

00:47:10.239 --> 00:47:16.079
We're gonna have an evaluation and no use it as a segue to discuss, hey, are you okay?

00:47:16.159 --> 00:47:18.159
You know, and stuff like that.

00:47:18.239 --> 00:47:20.239
And that's that's a really thing.

00:47:20.400 --> 00:47:32.000
One of the things that I know with domestic violence is the the attackers usually want to be close by to watch, to keep track of.

00:47:32.159 --> 00:47:47.519
So, no, if they can get into the same work spot as you and work the same shift, like an office job, no, that's just I won't say a breeding ground, but it's just a something that makes it convenient for that situation to continue.

00:47:47.599 --> 00:47:49.519
And yeah, very toxic.

00:47:49.679 --> 00:47:59.440
And it's and that goes like I was saying about educating the employers on those red flags or the signs that a person's being, you know, in a situation with domestic violence.

00:47:59.599 --> 00:48:00.400
What are the red flags?

00:48:00.480 --> 00:48:05.679
You got people that miss work, you know, or just they're not there, they're disengaged, or something's not right.

00:48:05.760 --> 00:48:09.920
And obviously, if it's physical abuse, you you might have the physical elements of it.

00:48:10.159 --> 00:48:16.639
But it's really educating them on what are the signs and then giving them the tools that they need to address it.

00:48:16.719 --> 00:48:22.320
Because you can't just come out and say, hey, you look like shit today, or you got a black eye, or you know, what's your attitude?

00:48:22.400 --> 00:48:25.679
You're not, you know, your your job is slackened, what's going on with you, what's wrong with you?

00:48:25.920 --> 00:48:32.400
It's in the delivery of the message, and also making sure that they have the resources to handle a situation.

00:48:32.639 --> 00:48:37.199
Like if it's if they know for a fact that a person is going through domestic violence, what are you gonna do about it?

00:48:37.599 --> 00:48:51.280
Also, you know, if if there's been any arrests made, public records, things that they can search, if they they suspect that somebody's gonna be someone's in that situation, let me go out and do a little record search and see if I can find anything.

00:48:51.920 --> 00:48:56.079
So there's some things that you can do to try and help the victims.

00:48:57.280 --> 00:48:59.360
Well, start out with you, Cask.

00:48:59.519 --> 00:49:02.880
I'll ask you the same thing, Crystal, since you've been in the situation.

00:49:03.119 --> 00:49:19.280
If you had something or some just a couple of things that you wish people would have paid more attention to that you know, where you were trying to tell people or or you know, kind of get somebody's attention that, hey, this is going on.

00:49:19.519 --> 00:49:31.199
What are some things that you wish people would have recognized and that they didn't or that they missed uh that you you you want to bring out that you know, hey, people watch for this.

00:49:31.679 --> 00:49:32.960
Is there anything, Cass?

00:49:33.920 --> 00:49:51.119
You know, hey, it's it's weird because I try to think about it, and there's just so many instances that I really tried to reach out for help, and I was kind of just kind of blown off in a way.

00:49:51.360 --> 00:49:54.719
The majority of the time it it was with law enforcement.

00:49:54.880 --> 00:50:04.800
Me physically even saying help, just it didn't, it didn't really it help didn't register, yes.

00:50:05.360 --> 00:50:37.760
But I I do recall one time I told a friend and I said I said he hit me and my friend goes, Well, I can't I don't want to get involved and I can't help you, but here is a web there's a website for domestic violence fibers, and this is maybe two years into the 13 years that I dealt with.

00:50:39.119 --> 00:50:47.039
And I think I trusted them so much that I thought that saying something to them they'd rescue me.

00:50:47.840 --> 00:50:58.239
Um and I I I guess a part of me felt like I guess I just have to rescue myself.

00:50:58.639 --> 00:51:03.760
And I I wish there was just a way we could change that.

00:51:03.920 --> 00:51:11.679
And I don't know if there is without full everybody around truly taking it seriously.

00:51:12.079 --> 00:51:17.280
I feel like unfortunately, survivors are still gonna feel like they have to rescue themselves.

00:51:17.920 --> 00:51:19.760
And I I agree a hundred percent with that.

00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:26.320
Yeah, I know when I was taken, I was at a traffic light, you can either go left or right.

00:51:26.480 --> 00:51:34.159
So I back then we had the roll-down windows, so I rolled my windows down and I'm yelling at the two people beside us for help.

00:51:34.239 --> 00:51:37.679
And the police call the cops because I'm being kidnapped, you know, I need help.

00:51:37.840 --> 00:51:41.440
And they rolled up their window and just drove off.

00:51:41.760 --> 00:51:49.199
So ever since then for myself, anytime I suspect or I see something that's something's not right with this situation, I get involved.

00:51:49.440 --> 00:51:52.320
I remember I saw a guy beating a woman.

00:51:52.559 --> 00:51:56.559
He was in the she was in the passenger side and he was just beating her through the window.

00:51:56.719 --> 00:52:01.519
So I stayed at a safe different distance, but I called 911 and I end up following them.

00:52:01.760 --> 00:52:04.480
Obviously, I wasn't right on them so they couldn't tell.

00:52:04.639 --> 00:52:06.480
And the police end up stopping them.

00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:18.000
So I will get involved as a bystander, even though I don't, I may not go up to them and physically try and grab somebody because that will, you know, I could get in trouble myself or get injured or killed.

00:52:18.239 --> 00:52:25.280
But I still try to play my part in helping somebody in that situation just because of the fact that I didn't have that help.

00:52:25.440 --> 00:52:29.760
And just like you said, my biggest thing was with law enforcement because I couldn't get help.

00:52:29.920 --> 00:52:34.719
Anytime I got tried to reach out for help, I was told that I was going to be arrested.

00:52:34.800 --> 00:52:36.159
My children were gonna be taken.

00:52:36.320 --> 00:52:39.840
So I didn't have any confidence in law enforcement.

00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:44.800
And I'm not judging them because you know it could be training or, like we said, the fatigue of it.

00:52:45.039 --> 00:52:48.559
But I wish that somebody would have listened to me in law enforcement.

00:52:48.719 --> 00:53:00.000
And I know for a fact, just some years ago, my daughter went through the same thing, and I had an encounter with law enforcement, and they basically told me I was being an overbearing mother and just let her live her life.

00:53:00.079 --> 00:53:06.159
And even though I knew that at the time when she was taken, I was getting text messages, but it wasn't her.

00:53:06.480 --> 00:53:13.840
So when I told the police officer, I said, listen, this is not her writing this, this is the person that has her being held captive, and she's pregnant.

00:53:14.639 --> 00:53:16.880
And I was basically laughed at and mocked.

00:53:17.360 --> 00:53:17.679
Yeah.

00:53:17.920 --> 00:53:25.280
And so I know that it's not there yet in law enforcement where they take these cases seriously.

00:53:25.440 --> 00:53:37.280
It wasn't until after I had given them some information and told them that I also had worked in law enforcement and I had to reach out to one of my old friends who was in law enforcement still, she made a call and then they jumped on it.

00:53:37.360 --> 00:53:39.599
And I told them, why do you have to wait?

00:53:39.760 --> 00:53:42.079
I mean, every one of these cases is very important.

00:53:42.400 --> 00:53:49.519
Don't wait for somebody have to use if they're former law enforcement or former of something or worked in law enforcement in that capacity.

00:53:49.599 --> 00:53:50.320
It's not right.

00:53:50.559 --> 00:54:01.440
Yeah, you you make a great point because it wasn't until I married my husband, my who was in who's in law enforcement 10 years law enforcement now in the private sector.

00:54:01.840 --> 00:54:09.119
But that it my my captor had multiple warrants out for him.

00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:10.320
Multiple.

00:54:11.039 --> 00:54:15.760
We he my husband and I got married, and he made one phone call.

00:54:16.320 --> 00:54:17.840
Hey, he's right here.

00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:18.960
We know where he's at.

00:54:19.440 --> 00:54:21.840
Yeah, he's arrested the next day.

00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:24.880
Yeah, but I call the kids and nothing.

00:54:25.360 --> 00:54:26.960
Hey, he's right here, nothing.

00:54:27.199 --> 00:54:28.000
Nothing, yeah.

00:54:28.239 --> 00:54:28.559
Yeah.

00:54:30.400 --> 00:54:30.719
Okay.

00:54:31.039 --> 00:54:32.480
Yeah, we have to do better with that.

00:54:32.800 --> 00:54:33.039
Yeah.

00:54:34.320 --> 00:54:34.800
All right.

00:54:34.960 --> 00:54:42.239
Well, how hard was it for you to become an author to Casa and write this book, uh, Water Cure?

00:54:42.960 --> 00:54:44.239
Oh my goodness.

00:54:44.719 --> 00:54:46.880
It was the hardest thing I've ever done.

00:54:46.960 --> 00:54:55.920
And I honestly think I think that's crazy because of everything that I've gone through, I first off, I'm dyslexic.

00:54:56.239 --> 00:55:06.559
So I I had been, you know, I when I first started the social media aspect, I was writing like these quotes and it started turning into poems.

00:55:06.719 --> 00:55:10.480
I had all of these journals, everything that happened to me.

00:55:10.800 --> 00:55:18.079
And whenever I like smushed them together chronologically, I was like, this doesn't make sense.

00:55:18.239 --> 00:55:19.679
This is a horrible book.

00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:25.199
So I had to completely think out of the box.

00:55:25.360 --> 00:55:30.800
And then once I finally had it written, that's when the hell of it all started.

00:55:30.960 --> 00:55:36.400
Like it was even worse because you have to go through editing and all of this stuff.

00:55:36.719 --> 00:55:48.320
But to finally set it down, it feels like I'm setting down a piece of my soul, and I can finally close the chapter of what is the worst part of my life.

00:55:48.639 --> 00:55:55.599
And maybe someone reads it and they're like, Oh my gosh, like I know how to help this.

00:55:56.960 --> 00:55:58.639
That's kind of the goal of it.

00:55:58.800 --> 00:56:01.119
And hopefully it scares a few people too.

00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:03.280
I think that's I'm excited.

00:56:03.760 --> 00:56:07.519
A lot of people get over the situation similar to yours.

00:56:07.599 --> 00:56:42.559
No, whether it's uh domestic violence, uh an attack or something, is by writing about it, even journaling about it, uh, helps get it out of your mind and just uh hopefully help you put it behind you as closing that chapter and no using it for you know a remind for you know somebody else in the future that you know, hey, uh this is I didn't know this uh all this happened, or I wish I would have known she was this person was doing this, or this was why they were acting this way, and and things like that.

00:56:42.719 --> 00:56:47.760
And I I'm glad that uh you were able to get everything in your book form.

00:56:47.920 --> 00:57:02.239
And uh sorry I didn't get to do the pre-read uh stuff, but no, that was the the year that I was going through stuff and I I really wanted to, but I've got my book pre-ordered on Amazon, so exciting.

00:57:02.480 --> 00:57:12.480
Yeah, I I will say you you said you said something important, someone reading it, and then realizing, well, I could have done something different there.

00:57:12.639 --> 00:57:15.679
I I actually had my mother read it.

00:57:16.480 --> 00:57:28.639
And when I had been raped and my organs were dying in the hospital, there was a part and I put it in the book and I looked at her and I said, Mom, I got hurt because of sex.

00:57:29.199 --> 00:57:37.920
And she goes, No, honey, it you just your your ovaries, they just they they failed.

00:57:38.159 --> 00:57:44.960
And I looked at her and I just didn't have the energy to like finally so out of it.

00:57:45.119 --> 00:58:15.280
And my mom said that was the hardest thing for me to read because I remember you saying it and I dismissed you, and I thought I was just keeping you calm because I knew you were in pain, and you know, getting that out there, and it just it's so it relieving, and it is on Amazon, Barnes Noble everywhere.

00:58:15.440 --> 00:58:19.440
The audiobook will be on Audible and iTunes.

00:58:19.679 --> 00:58:22.320
So I'm just I'm thrilled.

00:58:22.400 --> 00:58:36.480
I'm thrilled to finally let people hear what the horrors are like, but also get to hear an incredible story of love and strength.

00:58:36.639 --> 00:58:36.880
Yeah.

00:58:37.280 --> 00:58:38.559
I'm so proud of you, by the way.00:58:38.639 --> 00:58:39.599


And I'm gonna share it.00:58:39.679 --> 00:58:45.280


I'm gonna write a LinkedIn thing about our post, and then I'm gonna share it so they can go and find your book too.00:58:45.360 --> 00:58:48.480


Because I mean, every day is domestic violence awareness day.00:58:48.559 --> 00:58:49.360


It's not like a month.00:58:49.519 --> 00:58:51.519


We don't need just a month, we need it every day.00:58:51.760 --> 00:58:56.000


So I'm definitely gonna share your story and and post it and share it.00:58:56.079 --> 00:59:00.320


Uh and I do, like I said, I work with mothers that have lost their children to domestic violence.00:59:00.400 --> 00:59:03.039


One particular was shot in the park and that was horrible.00:59:03.360 --> 00:59:06.880


So it's a good story to share, and I'm very proud of you.00:59:07.679 --> 00:59:08.320


Yeah.00:59:08.719 --> 00:59:13.280


And if I if I remember seeing, right, uh it's kind of sparked your interest.00:59:13.360 --> 00:59:16.400


You're working on another project coming down the road, aren't you?00:59:17.119 --> 00:59:21.360


Um I got really excited about this one, and my husband's super excited about it.00:59:21.519 --> 00:59:23.920


It is gonna be a science fiction thriller.00:59:24.320 --> 00:59:32.639


So I'm taking my joy that I discovered from writing this book, Water Cure, into this new realm.00:59:32.880 --> 00:59:43.599


And it mixes my love of science fiction with government conspiracy and true historical facts.00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:59.840


And it is based in the 90s, and we travel with a character named Lydia Gray as she becomes sort of a secret agent to a government that is somewhat underground.01:00:00.559 --> 01:00:00.880


Okay.01:00:01.519 --> 01:00:01.840


All right.01:00:03.039 --> 01:00:03.760


That's good.01:00:04.000 --> 01:00:15.760


And if I remember, well, I I do remember, but part of what you know knowing you from you know searching up uh firearms instructors whenever I got started and I started following you.01:00:16.559 --> 01:00:29.840


I know what two years ago you did an article with a friend of mine, Trampus Swanson, on his in his magazine, uh the life the the lifestyles shoot.01:00:30.400 --> 01:00:31.280


Armed lifestyle.01:00:31.519 --> 01:00:32.639


Armed lifestyle, yeah.01:00:32.719 --> 01:00:40.480


I and he'll kill me because I I I did an interview with him on his magazine about his magazine, but yeah, it's an online magazine.01:00:40.559 --> 01:00:44.639


But I encourage people to to go check that out as well.01:00:44.800 --> 01:00:51.760


I will see if I can find that link to that and I'll put it in the show notes as well as some other things.01:00:52.000 --> 01:00:57.280


And I I appreciate you you know coming on and talking about this.01:00:57.519 --> 01:01:02.800


I think it's again it's something that I feel is never talked about enough.01:01:02.960 --> 01:01:30.480


You know, and there's other topics out there that that are just as important, but you know, again, with this month being the the awareness month that's been given for domestic violence, I I thought this would be a real good re-entrelaun video of or podcast to do, and then also help you with bringing awareness to domestic violence and then you know promoting your book, uh, which I'm excited that you did.01:01:30.559 --> 01:01:39.760


And you and I'm glad that it's helping you to close that that section of your your life uh uh to a point that you know things have happened.01:01:40.480 --> 01:01:44.719


Crystal, you got anything else you want to add?01:01:45.039 --> 01:01:54.320


No, I just I think it's a great conversation we had that we can go on and on for like a long time because it's such a major problem and issue that so many of us face.01:01:54.800 --> 01:01:57.119


But yeah, but I would love to keep in contact with you.01:01:57.199 --> 01:02:03.199


So after we get off here, I'd like to get your your your website and your book information so I can share it.01:02:03.920 --> 01:02:04.239


Okay.01:02:04.639 --> 01:02:04.960


All right.01:02:05.039 --> 01:02:14.000


Well on that as on that note, how can people that want to contact you, Cass, how can they what's the best way to reach out to you?01:02:14.559 --> 01:02:18.400


There's multiple avenues depending on what you're interested in.01:02:18.719 --> 01:02:42.880


If you're looking for um my book, you can go to Cass McGuire author on Facebook, or if you're looking for my book and everything else, you can look up Star Snoop Dog one word on all platforms, uh including YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook.01:02:43.760 --> 01:02:53.280


If you're wanting to connect for a business reason and cast Maguire on LinkedIn, so yeah, uh that's those are the best ways to reach me.01:02:53.440 --> 01:03:00.559


If if you're local in Oklahoma and you just want martial arts classes with me, mm-okd.com.01:03:01.039 --> 01:03:01.360


Okay.01:03:02.400 --> 01:03:02.960


All right.01:03:03.199 --> 01:03:11.599


And of course, we've already talked about the where to find your book and everything, and uh, I'll put in some links for that uh also in the show notes.01:03:12.880 --> 01:03:15.360


Anything else you want to close with, Cass?01:03:16.000 --> 01:03:17.840


Uh I don't think so, Brian.01:03:17.920 --> 01:03:20.239


I really am thankful that you had me on.01:03:20.320 --> 01:03:22.320


Crystal, it was lovely meeting you.01:03:22.559 --> 01:03:24.000


Let's definitely connect.01:03:24.159 --> 01:03:27.199


But yeah, thank you for us finally getting to do this.01:03:27.280 --> 01:03:30.159


I know it's been over a year of work in progress.01:03:30.320 --> 01:03:33.679


Yeah, but we found the time and then I'm thankful to be here.01:03:34.000 --> 01:03:35.199


Okay, sounds good.01:03:35.440 --> 01:03:36.559


Thank you so much.01:03:36.880 --> 01:03:42.639


Well, I will have uh show notes uh on contact information, books, training.01:03:42.800 --> 01:03:55.760


And if you have any questions, feel free to reach out or no, if you need anything, some tips or no, if you're still you know, you want to talk to somebody, reach out to any of us.01:03:55.840 --> 01:04:10.800


Uh you can direct message me on the podcast web page of reach out to Cass or Crystal if you want some information or if you know need to help with a exit strategy or or you know personal safety or something like that.01:04:11.039 --> 01:04:16.800


Reach out to them and can't help, can't leave out the sponsors of the podcast.01:04:17.039 --> 01:04:19.199


Of course, one of them is a blackout coffee.01:04:19.599 --> 01:04:25.760


They they help support with uh commissions and then also right to bear legal protection services.01:04:25.840 --> 01:04:33.280


Uh check them out for your self-defense uh insurance or your self-defense uh protections.01:04:33.360 --> 01:04:37.840


Uh check them out, and they're all those links will be in the show notes.01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:39.840


Thank you, and y'all have a great day.01:04:40.239 --> 01:04:41.039


Thank you, Brian.01:04:41.199 --> 01:04:42.079


Thank you, Cass.01:04:44.079 --> 01:04:54.559


The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the host and the guest, and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the podcast publisher, the affiliate, or any other entities.01:04:54.800 --> 01:05:01.599


The information contained in this podcast is for entertainment purposes only and cannot be distributed as medical, legal, or financial.01:05:02.719 --> 01:05:07.760


The podcast publisher is affiliate no responsibility, any liability.01:05:23.280 --> 01:05:30.480


If you or someone you know that a domestic violence situation needs help, they can call 1-800-799.01:05:32.239 --> 01:05:48.719


1-800-799-7233, or they can text the word START 2 88788, or find more information on domestic violence at www.thehotline.org.01:05:48.880 --> 01:05:49.679


Thank you.